amethyst

2010-03-14T00:31:00.007+08:00

Hasuza or Haziq {whatever his name is} started talking to me 'again' after 3 months {or so?}. i didnt see it coming at all and he just wanted to ask me how's school been . we talked till he had to go off . double check , i still dont know why we stopped talking . maybe he's just too busy with work ? {impossible} or he already accepted the fact that i have someone's heart to take care of ? well , at least not anymore . hahhs . it's funny how we both actually thought we've forgotten one another , tsk . you know , he's sweet because he stopped drinking just for me . {i didnt even ask him to , swear} . i guess he start it again , haha . should ask him about it later eh . ghee , cant wait to see him any time soon, hehhs . after he's posted to ITE , i guess. N level holder or what ! somehow , it really made me miss US , typing long messages to each other unlike someone. hmph .. oh wait, he's just my 'good friend' . dont get the wrong idea eh, per favore ! {-.-'}

R.A ; like i said , i dont have anyone else . omghee lah , your assumption is so not needed . wanna say something , at least make some sense okay ? thank you; mahalo; salamat; gratias ! (; saranghaeyo !

2010-03-12T21:03:00.008+08:00

supposingly, i'll get over you someday . i ought to because i know i'm no one to you anymore . well said , well obvious. what's the point if i keep on trying but things no longer will be the same ? i dont know what you did to me that makes me what i am today . your positive words - knocked into my senses , opened up my mind and my heart and by then , my interest for studies grew bigger each day . in my entire life , i never had this kind of interest towards education . you encouraged me to have a brighter future and motivate me to work harder for it . thank you so much for everything , R.A . <3

i can work this thing out by myself .

or maybe , i still need you here . )';

no doubt, i'll still wait for you even when i know things arent gonna be the same anymore . (:

2010-03-12T20:09:00.003+08:00

hehehe ! mum just bought Samsung PL 150 camera for me {lovely megapixels and quality you know!} and i decided to share it with her since she bought it with her money even though it was for me. okay, whatever . thought of buying DSLR but i guess , i'm asking for too much . i shouldn't ask for more since i already got what i wanted {Msi notebook , Braces , Camera , etc } . truth is , i dont need all these except for braces but what to do ? they spontaneously surprised me with those. okay enough . they've spent so much on me and guess what ? my oldest brother got really jealous . screw you . my other two brothers didnt even feel that way towards me , but he did . stupid eh kau ? you're the oldest , should have already start supporting your siblings and parents . oh well , but you didnt . you're 22 years old , what are you doing with your life now ? tsk3 . so much of your 'looking for a job' . { to no avail } . you're still stuck at home { for 9 months and still counting .. ! } , being self-centered . omghee .

study date soon please , p.sch bestf .

2010-03-11T17:19:00.005+08:00

finally , i'm done with my Home-Based Learning assignments ! lucky enough there's only 4 subjects on Thursday timetable. i swear i'm starting to hate home-based learning and please , i hope there's no more HBL in the future . pffts! i would rather attend school than staying at home doing all these troublesome assignments . rawr !

daddy's a big joke with trollies . tsk3 !

might have study group sessions with p.sch bestfriend, Danish, and his mat friends {;p} during March Holidays . boohoo ! i dislike my CA1 results even though i did quite alright for it . all i need is to buck up on my fucking maths and chemistry . chemistry's pulling my science marks down and social studies's pulling my humanities marks down ): oh gee, thanks Irene Ng for saying positive remarks about me to my parents . hahahaha !

shit , i seriously need a CCA to help me with my N level next year {as to what Irene Ng told me to}. no , i'm no longer in that crap shit uniform group , NPCC . they're just wasting my precious time . gotta talk to Ms Mas about Drama . hmm ..

2010-03-10T19:42:00.008+08:00

i really need a rest from everything . let's continue to focus on my studies for now . most people encouraged me to continue waiting . well, dont reply my messages , it's alright . it's your turn to play fair. boooo ~

everything's so bleak .

but no , this doesnt affect my studies at all .

boohooo !

2010-03-10T18:52:00.007+08:00

, cried silently between Chemistry & English lesson . No one notice except for Wiwi . thanks Syahmi , for asking and even mentioning about him . i would like it if you mind your words . i just dont feel right talking about it , please dont pressure me to . sigh ! sorry Jeremy and Kenny for screaming at you guys ..

dalam hati masih ada cinta . give me time , i ought to let go .

2010-03-09T22:48:00.003+08:00

i guess i did quite well for CA1 , hopefully SA1 i'll do even better ;p Tomorrow's Donut Day for my school . there will be 'meet the parent session' on Thursday . Wiwi , Deevesh and Naufal leaving for Palau on Friday . I'm going off to Malaysia for a wedding on Sunday. will be waiting for Wiwi's and the other's return on Tuesday. gonna go shopping around March holidays with Deevesh and others maybe on Wednesday-Friday. while waiting for them to return , i'll be studying for Chemistry, Social Studies and Maths . hehehe !

rusydi's : ' bang . seluar makin pendek bang ! '

mentang-mentang dah upper sec . hahaha ! perangai musibat . & i dont know which Raja wear snowcap -.-' nonsense sia ahfatzxs ! hahaha .

ahfat's : ' the sky is so blue tonight . i say tonight because you're not white. '

finally ! ahfat make sense with his sentences . for today only ~ hahaha .

psst ; awak kalau taknak reply message saye , takpe (: lupekan sahaje ayes , terime kasih seribu kali ! -.-' benci siak akuuuuu ! maybe the one with the 'someone else' is you . yeah , it's true . obviously you right , who else ? me ? damn joke lah you. forget it forget it , nevermind . ahahaha !

2010-03-08T21:04:00.005+08:00

Today's !

Yesterday's !

first and foremost , i swear i look disgusting with make ups .

clubbing or ordinary makeups , either way , i still look very disgusting in any make up. hehehooo ! so please dont mind this , i'm just a make up model for that day as a practice . no , i aint gonna wear make up ever . that's for sure . secondly , yes ! as you can see , braces on already . was thinking to put 'green' but look kinda disgusting . maybe some other time . so i chosed blue . hehe ! (;

2010-03-07T00:37:00.007+08:00

older brother's girlfriend gonna come over later at 4pm . she's got an event going on soon and she wanna practice her make up on me and i'm her make-up model . can you believe it ? i know you cant ! omg , i've never done this before . what else , i've always hated wearing make-ups . tsk . it's not just any ordinary make-up . they're like , you know , the clubbing types of make-up with immense eye shadows and thick eyeliners . she's trying it out for Zouk as she's a make-up artist {-.-}. i have no idea why i'm telling this but it just seem so weird yet so cool that i'm doing this . haha ! gees , make ups . the very first when brother told me that her girlfriend wanted me to be her model , my eyes went O.O . then i flow with it . just a model for practicing right . it's not like i'm gonna wear em' my whole life . eyeer , disgusting ! if pimples starts to pop up, i'll prolly blame her. let's hope they dont , hmph. i am very sensitive . oh well , might ask her to do my eyebrows along with that . tehehee . i wonder when will i meet second brother's girlfriend . both brother's girlfriend damn gorgeous ! wait till they meet my boyfriend when i'm seventeen . chey, macam paham ! like it will ever happen . LALA ade matair ? damn joke .

i shall text M now before i bore myself. M always went for a shower this late at night and end up, leaving me alone! tsk3. he hates it when i call him abang . eh abang ? hohohoho! we shall text and you'll be smiling when you read my texts . no more sadness for you, little boy . little boy ke pe ! -.-'

2010-03-06T17:37:00.007+08:00

THIS IS THE LONGEST POST !

Why do people finally have to wake up only after a
heartbreak and see things for what they really are?

that's totally what i'm here for . first and foremost , this dedicates to someone i know who is literally melancholic . well , it's not what i would label him as but what he did just made me think he is one . we had confabs about what's going on but subsequently , your puny little senses doesnt trigger your brain . you made my stature look as if i'm yours {which is not true} . i dont know what really got into you . you're being selfish , always thinking about yourself . what about me ? i am not gonna ever be devoted by you or in you . you can stop trying now . i am specificly vexatious . being in a relationship does sound nonchalant but it's not . to be exact , it's the worst aspect in life . you'll have to commit yourself into something you're actually not ready yet {dont tell me you are because i'm not} . it's not something you can easily elate about. i'm immensely touched by the fact you tried your best to get hold of me into your arms once more but nonetheless , everyone knows i am no longer interested in you . i tried to reconcile with you by just staying as friends , but NO , you wanted it to be beyond than just friends . solely , try to put yourself in my shoes for once . after we broke up , you stood there with penitence . isnt it great to feel that way right after what happened ? haha , serve you right ! you're full of deceits and betrayal . you're a contradiction to my heart as it can never be yours again . my words just dont trigger your brain , doesnt it ? my life is now full of angst because of you . why dont you understand simple words or , would you rather hear me using wondrous words that you could never understand even with a wee bit help from the dictionary ? gosh , i am so agitated ! so now you're being acriminious indirectly huh ? trying to make me choose between you or Rian . oh god , it's never you . please , respect my decision . stop pretending to do sweet things {like serenading for me} infront of others so they would ask me to take you back . they arent gonna do that , they understand me . for once i thought you will stop bothering me once i've moved on , but fuck , you're engulfed with penitence and now bugging the hell out of my life . what the fuck is wrong with you ?! i'm sorry if i'm rude , i cant get hold of my anger right now . i need peace ! just move on, will you ? even if it's hard to do so , just move on ! argh . i'm not giving you hopes , you're the one putting them up by yourself. so it's false hopes for you , boohoo ! i've shred them into pieces . you in my life doesnt intrigues me , it never does . just go away , please . i hope you dont dibulged anything . i dont want your dignity/reputation to be brought down , so dont bring down mine . stop bothering my awesome lovable life and let me lead it with peace . now , i'm begging you . my heart needs a new one , not to reconcile with the old one . for all you know, i dont wanna be involve in a relationship till i'm seventeen . my words , mark and jot it down somewhere on your face. and please , dont make it look like we're still together. no more chances for you , i had enough . even if the smallest part is on you , my biggest part is on Rian . just accept the verity that i've already moved on . done , my little inane ignoramus friend (:

♥ with love , LALA ♥

psst ; dont accuse me of talking behind your back because i didnt . (:

2010-03-06T12:42:00.004+08:00

since i've been told to read your blog , i assume this is referring to me .

, we used to be everything a girl need , a babygirl bestfriend , to hold onto tightly . listen to me , it's never because of lyrah we fell apart . you and her took the wrong idea and there , i was left stranded alone . i dont mind , really . afterall , she is always there for you . that's great ! truth is , we get along pretty well everytime { even when we're not in good terms } . both isnt at fault , we're just too stubborn to find a way to be nice towards each other again but your attitude , isnt the same anymore . you're getting more rowdy each time i saw you . you know how much i hate that kind of behavior right ? you're not the girl who i used to know way back before . you're not understanding anymore , you're alway accusing . about yesterday , i somehow felt it too . we sat beside each other and you started talking . i stared at you , i knew something wasnt right . you werent looking at me .. okay, i dont wanna be a double-headed bitch anymore . right after this post, i bet i'll be a topic of my dearest friends . "LALA dont like soffina , then now they're good friends" , yadayadayada . i know my friends . {;p} for all you know, they got that side too , {(:} no matter how much i hate your behavior right now , you're still Soffina Elmelda right ? and i believe , whatever me and my friends used to say about you, it somehow got an affect on me . i forgive you and i hope you'll do the same for me if i'm not what i am now . i'm sorry because things just seem to be hard for us now to change and be close once again . you've got your friends and i've got mine . lead yours and i'll lead mine . whatever it is , we're still friends , the best (:

IMY & ILYT <3

2010-03-04T19:24:00.010+08:00

Kian Siang ! >.<

got second highest for mother tongue 2nd pemahaman test . [40/60] {-.-}

first highest in physic's 2nd test , smart ah {;p} hehehe ! [26/30]. overall CA marks [64/100] .

flunked chemistry 2nd test , pffts .

maths , hahahahaha! *below*

didnt know i did this bad ! grr .

halfway through doing our maths test correction , irene ng got mad and stopped teaching . big fuck ah cher ! hahaha . the class was noisy. it's not even THAT noisy and she's already so temperamental . how silent do we need to be ? come on, we cant concentrate with the class being too silent . dont make sense eh this hag , pffts . so she asked the whole class to write a comment {how to improve your grades , the class and etc} . majority wrote 'change the teacher !' and ahfatxzs & deevesh's ones damn busket sia. guess what i wrote ? haha . few others laughed at my comment {-.-} ,

''First of all, even if you're good in maths , doesnt mean you're good in teaching . YOU ARE NOT GOOD IN TEACHING ! I DO NOT UNDERSTAND YOU & YOU ARE SO TEMPERAMENTAL . that is very irritating . bye ! with love <3

hahaha . i'm done about school . went home and saw two boys in the bus . they were staring at me and i was like 'huh ?' and ignored . then i looked , they're still staring and then they waved . thanks eh eyes, for being short-sighted . grrr . i think i know them but i just cant see . haha ! ahfatzxs dickhead ah ! i asked him who was it and whether he know who . he went '' RIAN ! RIAN ! really! '' {-.-'} just because those guys were hot & cute . zZzZz .

anyway , there's a wee bit of something i wanna clarify with babyRA =D

, i dont have someone else . really ! let me repeat, NO ONE ELSE . only you, RA. words dont just come out of my mouth meaninglessly especially to you . nonono. what kind of a person do you think i am? tsk. RA, because of you, i'm waiting. because of you, i am willing to wait. it's all written on my face. just you, you and only you. stop assuming that i have someone else. grr, i hate it . you know, i wonder when will you text me because i'm waiting.. dont wait for mine , the game wont be over like that . hahaha . i'm missing you too much already ); . sorry for breaking my promise. i know i am not suppose to drift away silently. hope you're doing well and please let N level finish fast . RA <3

2010-03-03T17:58:00.004+08:00

jangan action , jangan ! kau pikir kau besar ? oh , ah ah eh . kau memang besar pun . eleh , tapi otak tak sebijak mane buat ape kan . harap je badan besar { _l_ } . kan aku cakap , pape jadi kat aku , akan patah balik kat kau . kau taknak dengar . suke hati mak bapa kau jer bobal pasal aku eh ? diri kau tu , mane punye hebat .. fuyoo ! tsk3. kau tak boleh nan tak akan menang lah . jangan try , takmo degil . tak bagos . memalukan diri kau jer . { ;p } kau tahu complain yang aku bobal bende merepek pasal kau . kau tak suke kan ? bagos . tengok diri kau tu okay . bobal pasal aku , boleh ah ? wahh ! baik ah mat ! tolong ah , gi cebok muke kau nan sedar diri uh . irritating tahu tak ? kau dah lah lame beh nak bobal taik nan aku . bobal pasal aku , buat kau hot ah kirekan ? bahan hangat ah ? buat aku kekek lah ! wah , big fuck ah ! big fuck ah , kay syabas . dah lah , kau kan handsome { eeeeee! } . muke macam berok ada ah ! musibat peh setan . gigi nan badan kau gi betulkan eh , please eh . disgusting sungguh !

just came back from home , teeeheee ! today was my very first day that i laughed randomly so much . thanks to Ahfatzxs ! he kept on mocking and laughing at Sean . so i laughed along . every word Sean said , he'll repeat it and laugh even when it's not funny at all , i repeat , not funny at all . it's so random , i laugh more than Ahfatzxs did . i couldnt stop and my eyes started to tear up. even when it's over , i laughed until i was coughing so badly and wanted to vomit a lot of time . even when i'm coughing , i still can laugh . yeay ! told ya i got a random sense of humor {-.-'}

a video of Lai Wang being tied up and bullied in class . i dont know why but he doesnt care , hmph .

2010-03-02T22:17:00.007+08:00

wah die ah if most people know why i'm always mentioning *'s name . tsk3 ! okay , questions being asked . i found myself lazy to answer them , so i took it off the web and disabled it . {-.-'}

are you attached ?

- no and probably wont for now .

how old are you ?

- i'm fifteen with a smile { =D }

who is MH ?

- someone no one knows ? hahahaha . sorry , i cant say it out .

but that person aint my special someone .

if you're not attached , why ?

- erh , do i have to be attached ? well , i'm not sure myself . i dont wanna get involve in this matter for now . maybe i'm not what every guy wants ? hahahahaha .

currently waiting for any guy ?

- specificly , NO ! somehow i think i am but another part of me says i'm not but i'm still not sure if i am or not though something about myself told me that i am which looked like i'm not . so wait , did i answer your question ? i hope i did. hahahahaha !

crushing anyone ?

- by anyone , are you referring to only boys or girls as well ? haha . well , i'm just admiring someone . no biggy (:

zomgxsz ! {??} thanks ah Wiwi Adriana for passing me your virus ! i'm having runny nose and coughing . a few classmates of mine are getting them too , yeah ! all thanks to Kak Wi , hehe . gemooooook ! and bbyg , i rather think that you should go to Palau . i mean , it IS a once in a life time opportunity right ? all you've gotta do is enjoy your days there and then , suffer for the next three months ! ;p hahaha . it's alright about our shopping date )': <3

for sure , i'll fail my chemistry test . i didnt study for it nor do i even understand a single thing . smart ahh me ! i understand physics but not chemistry . you know what ? i seriously need to study for chemistry . booo ! gonna spend my March holidays studying , i guess . (x

2010-02-28T20:14:00.009+08:00

i guess i'm sick , almost .

i've been coughing a lot today

and my cough isnt just any ordinary

cough you hear everyday . i'm having sore throat !

it's killing me )';

re-edited ,

i'm 38.6 celcius .

yesterday mum got a good scolding from me

{not in a harsh way}

and for once, she took my advice !

MH IS HOT ! ~ xD

i cant wait for 8th march ! hehe .

2010-02-26T20:48:00.007+08:00

like i said , talking about me wouldnt make your life any better . things can change even before days . you cant run away from the facts . you're probably jealous and obviously, looked down on me indirectly . truth is , whatever is being said by you , reflects on yourself . think about it . i am thankful enough to get encouragements from my bestfs - atleast they dont look down on me like you did . i dont mind if you look down on me but not to the extend whereby you'd to say something harsh . i'm sure that day when i told them parcels of my story , i kept on pausing and trying to calm myself down . not because i'm angry , because i'm disappointed and upset about that particular issue until my voice changed into a teary voice when i was explaining to them . i even noticed myself looking down on the floor and trying to hide my teary eyes. for once in my life {somehow}, i almost wanted to break down infront of them but i endured and pushed it all back behind . no one knows how truly disappointed i am about this matter . i have true friends standing behind my back , they're my pillar of strengths . the ones i need the most in my life . i dont need you , you can live your life and trust me , i wont ever bother about yours . i dont wanna be part of it either . it feels like as if i'm being stabbed by a thousand daggers .

2010-02-23T20:39:00.003+08:00

today wasn't thaaaat awesome , i have no idea why ?

Xinting got the highest for Design & Technology in our class and i got the second highest .

i'm so proud of myself , hehehehe !

i finally understood maths , ON MY OWN . {-.-'}

but with a wee bit help from my maths teacher , of course .

ohyeah , thanks eh bestf naufal .

you drenched my bag with your drink yet you dont wanna admit . somemore wanna argue . smack your face ! tsk . nevermind eh , i'm cool with it though i was a little bit cold towards you just now . you told me you cap-ed your bottle but did you cap-ed it tightly ? hahh , answer me that hor . i would like to know . hahahaha , forget about it ;p

took an MC for tomorrow from the dental . will be going for breakfast at McDonald with my two bestfs . they're gonna skip school , woaaaaaaah . haha . smart right this girl , wont be attending school but will be going out for breakfast . {-.-'}

ohh, Shahidah's fucking adorable with braces on .

i likeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee !

i think i'm in love ~ FAKE ! hahahahah . giler siaaa .

2010-02-22T22:25:00.011+08:00

what a joke ! i am a two-face bitch, hehe . i admit lah eh rather than some people . you wanna talk about my love life , fucking look at yours first okay bitch biatch betch ! you stupid faggot assholic imbecile cunt . i'll curse you , probably . ni ke yi jiao ao xie zai, you'll see yourself going down one day . nothing to be proud of . for all you know , i'm enduring your behavior like wowxzs ! oh wow ! you can advice me on some shits but i know what to do in life . go fetch your own life and stop buggin' in mine . thank you oh so ever so much ! dont think yours is so perfect and that you can attract whoever you want to. so {ewwww} not gonna happen . you never changed , prettypity . tsk3. are you jealous that my love life's way awesome than yours ? OoOh sharks ! =D

truth is; i aint got LOVE LIFE . that's why it's aweeesomeeeeeeeeeee !

2010-02-22T01:16:00.005+08:00

though i leave {i know it doesnt bother you},

i'll still love you with my heart and soul .
there wont be a halfway through and it's gone .
mark me , whatever is in my heart it will remain as it is .
even when you dont feel the same way .
because this isnt just ordinary love ,
it's unconditional ..

ily .

2010-02-21T23:31:00.006+08:00

baby , i'm down down down down down !

normally i would apologise but no , i've apologised too much .

awww, nothing to be serious about right. IDGAFA !

hehehehehe . live your life ayes *flying kiss*

2010-02-21T00:25:00.006+08:00

i found a picture of my pretty twinnie ! couldnt believe she shaved her eyebrows 0.o minah betul ah twinnie aku ni eh , tsk . 2 years since we last met . most people told us we look almost alike {not sure about now}. this year June Holiday, might arrange a meet up with her . hopefully her boyfriend and his mum isnt too controlling anymore - fucked up annoying okay. i'm not sure if she's gonna be busy because she's sitting for O level this year . my twin very smart , you know ! she got 14 for her N level and was promoted to Secondary 5 . i'm positive she can enter Poly next year . i wanna out-smart her can ?! hehe . ooh, her school is literally just infront of my house {-.-'}. i miss her laaaaaaaaaa !

2010-02-20T22:52:00.009+08:00

i guess someday i will still have to let it loose right ? what's the point of keeping things this way ? i'm very tired leh , dont you know that ? you keep on changing as if you're changing clothes . you're not even into it and what's more , you got nothing to lose . i dont mind , really . just go ahead , study hard , pass with good results and i'll be back when everything's over . that way, i wont be putting much pressure in you . all i want is for you to end this year with great achievements. incase you've found a new one , tell me all about it . i'll be glad to know that you're happy even when i'm not there and even when i'm not happy and wasnt the one who brought it to you, i'll still be glad to see that there's happiness in you that someone else brought it in . i hope you're gonna do well . sorry for being too obsessive and clingy. iwaly , {insertname} .

like what my little cute ah neh ; AhVinson said ,

''high hopes resulted in deep disappointment'' .

i'm not worth it (:

2010-02-20T12:45:00.005+08:00

'' sorry but your words dont bring me down no more . ''

i've been reading this book since a few months ago and i dont seem to be able to stop . i'll only read it when there's time to . oh, why am i telling you guys this ? tsk . there's a few more House Of Night Novels , but i'm focusing on this one first. it's about vampyre ! hehe . alright , i dont think i'll be going out today but probably gonna catch another movie next week with my bunch of people and Juliana along . i have to transfer notes to my physic notebook . smart eh ! forgotten to bring my physic notebook this week and been writing notes on my foolscap paper . right , i have yet to even start on my Design Situation . overdue but teacher didnt even come running after me ? hah . eh ! i improved in maths A LOT ! smart brain ! haha. scored 9/10 for math quiz and the latest one , i'm confident i can score well too . we'll just have to wait . i'm still lost in Indices , walendeh ninabuey cap chinchai . let's ask Syahmi next week ! =D

2010-02-19T21:41:00.002+08:00

scored english test with passing marks . i'm glad i did quite well this semester and hopefully i dont flop the next one . anyway , as usual , school was awesome . i was attentive in class that i understood every lesson that i went through this week and still had time for laughters. i did my own revision and went through the questions that i couldnt solve until i was able to by asking around especially that fat ass , Fatxz. helped Kian Siang with his composition because he begged me to . i wasnt serious about it and wrote whatever is in my head . haha ! at first, teacher didnt quite believe him that he wrote it by himself and told him that the handwritings were different but Kian Siang fought back and insisted it was his . tsk . after school, helped Fatxz with the class decoration and ended up having my left fingers sprayed gold . i had so much fun with him ! whenever he spray , i'll scream and wiped the spray with my own fingers because it was smudging and whenever i spray , he'll scream . when i scream, he'll scream . when he scream , i'll scream . hahahaha ! i sprayed the class door a little bit and Fatxz did the rest. bloody busterd , if the DM notice it , we'll be in trouble . haha , who cares ! woooohooooooooo !

2010-02-18T20:52:00.005+08:00

i'm running away from this . thanks bestfs for telling me about it . i'm not offended , really . {maybe a little, heh!} when i think through carefully about what you said , you guys actually got a point, for once . maybe i was being way obsessive about it but really , dont worry . i'm being very observant about it now and i dont wanna make myself sound so 'into it' , you know . what a girl like me got , hmph . next time , tell me earlier alright ? i'm living my life the way it should, i mean , i'm just really tired to be in those kind of thing . you get me right ? i guess , solitary life is kind of way better than beyond solitary . i have you guys , my great friends , by my side . there's nothing more that i need in my life but just you guys around me . (:

school was awesome today, as usual . cant believe i slept earlier yesterday and was feeling kinda fresh this morning . most of the time in class , i was with Rusydi . his face is so 'slappable' ! we ran after one another in class and slapped each other in the face . i disturbed Syahmi as well , haha ! sang the song 'Poker Face' to him and he was giving me that kind of face {0.o} it's so cool , you know ! i wish i was more to this kind of behavior than the previous one. freakishly hyper and way out of control yet so attentive in class. even the Western Stall uncle called me 'crazy' -.-' and it's a coincident , i know his son . haha ! Azrian ah eh ~

'ajak dier pergi backgate , kite fight ah amacam !' .

hahahaha . hilarious ! uncle couldnt stop calling me 'crazy' , from recess period and then, after school. alamak that guy eh , tsk . i love the Last Stall , seriously . didnt knew i was this sociable that i can build friendship with even the Stall Holders . joked around and teased each other . gee , i love my life and my friends . without them , i wouldnt be what i am today , for real (:

you guys are way too kind , hehehehehehehehehe ! well , i should prepare for Public Speaking Test next week since i'm one of the best . haha ! byeee ~

2010-02-17T19:53:00.010+08:00

thanks deevesh for the valentines' cookies and card !

sorry for not getting you anything , i dont really celebrate valentine (:

scratch! i'm proud of myself for improving in my mother tongue language, geography and also maths {getting a hang of it}. got the highest for mother tongue test and turned down 3 of the best ones. just a test , not a big deal right . hehehe . cant believe i passed my geography test and did quite well for it even though i dont really paid much attention in class . bestfriend , dont be foolish and drop humanities . i'm sure you cant and there's still room for improvement right ? we're in semester 1 , not semester 2 yet . tsk . today's chemistry lesson , sat with the guys at the back of the class . Kian Siang was way too cute , i'm speechless . his 'magics' , wallet , boxer etc . that guy always have his ways of making others laugh . flower ! {inside joke} , haha ! Rusydi as usual , taught Kian Siang malay and it's so hilarious . he make malay language sound so distorted , tsk . Rusydi disturbed Wiwi the most , another joker . Kian Siang said 'Kelake Pau ?!' instead of 'Kelakar Pe ?!' and alot more which i cant remember . haha ! he tried to hug me and said 'eh , see . i cant hug you . you're really short sia .' tsk ! i got new names , for real. Kian Siang calls me 'Sulaiman' because of the previous incident and Rusydi calls me 'Mann' {i have no idea why !} oh great , i'm a guy with a pussy, hahh . i dont mind anyway . i hate SocialStudies , (:

and toa payoh minahs , always wanna find fault with me ho . _l_ include you , Zizie ! grow up okay ? umur dah 16 ! ni ah budak-budak NorthLights ! pffts . what a disgrace . i'm not looking down okay . most of the girls who find fault and already did are from either NorthLights or Guangyang Sec . caucibsai lah, got guts not ? tsk . i dont even do a single shit . immatures .

2010-02-17T19:42:00.004+08:00

amazing low voice ! not a well-known singer yet .

2010-02-16T16:02:00.006+08:00

i for once , would gladly dedicate this post to a bitch who thinks she's all that . i wont say who yeah . she'll know who i'm referring to if she reads this (:

, you go around controlling other people's mind saying words that arent suppose to come out from your mouth and told me that i'm being brainwashed by my bunch of people . now what ? you're losing almost all of your friends , infact you already did . babe , you got me laughing real hard at you. now you're upset ? why ? oh , boys . as usual huh ! you're uptight pathetic ya know that , girl ? have you every thought of us ? gee . bitches like you shouldnt even be cared for . we're lucky enough to not to be in the same stereotype as you . i mean , it's well-off obvious that we're much more better than you in attitudes and etc . right , now who do you see us as ? oh wait, all you ever think of is boys , boys and more boys . as if you're that drop dead gorgeous ? you're not that nice either . come on , look where you stand before judging any of us . for all you know , my lil girl , we're all ahead of you . so better buck up ayes . i guess , we're more likely able to think maturely unlike you . ouch ! it's a pity for you . tsk3 . well , dont forget to create a new river along your way okay ? cry more often for boys , every male wants you . oh, you're the apple of their eyes . blablabla .. cause i bet your tears dont even mean a single definition . you're wasting it all up, whore . why get upset over boys and only boys ? cry bitch cry ! you're a piece of shit in my dictionary for now , you mean nothing more than that . go ahead , cry for boys . argue with your girl friends over guys , over jealousy , over everything . might as well , turn yourself over . as pathetic as it may seems , the word 'imbecile' suits you more . oh well , good luck bitch ! =D you suffering makes me happy . haha , i'm sadistic . gee ! ah , i shouldnt even talk about you . why ? cause you might be better than me in the future . but oh well , please scram (:

2010-02-15T23:18:00.003+08:00

watched Percy Jackson & The Lightning Thief awhile ago . it was awesome ! no regrets spending my 10 bucks for the ticket . i would rate it 10/10. i was really expecting it to be an excellent movie and it ended up , blowing me away . unlike Santau , that one , seriously no hope . Percy Jackson & The Lightning Thief , a must watch movie okay ! hopefully there's more of Logan Lerman's face showing up in future movies . he's so cute ! even cuter than Zac Efron . His blue sparkling eyes , nice ~

2010-02-13T21:16:00.006+08:00

my cute little ah neh, vinson, took this candid picture of me !

' eh , there's something stuck on my teeth..

eh ! something stuck on my teeth !

oh wait , that's my teeth . '

seems like i really got nothing to blog about except for the fact that Dewi left for Indonesia earlier today and i guess things will slightly change for some of us . probably will miss her and pomspoms . hopefully, she's able to drop by before someone's birthday end. i think she's gonna be alright there and please , let her fit in into her new school somehow with great companions around. sigh !

since baby wants me to post about 'food' and i dont have any idea why , i shall say something relevant since i got nothing to blog about eh eh eh ? obviously i love to eat , who doesnt . i have high metabolism , so i shall never get fat like baby . well , atleast he's tall . tsk ! i'm done here , haha !

gonna extract my two other tooth on 23rd February. Cowen told me to postponed it if i cant attend public speaking the next day . i mean , oh shit ! i dont think i want to and yeah , i shall be strong and just attend public speaking and not school (: nah , it depends . might attend school as well . just for public speaking test ! rawr ! another challenge, to endure the hardship of chewing something edible , cibai ! i wanna see Shahidah with braces too as she's putting them on 23rd February. she's way ahead of me, tsk . i think she'll look extra cute (:

2010-02-12T22:36:00.005+08:00

i almost lose interest in studies but my instinct told me not to lose hope . i really wanna make it to polytechnic and live an awesome life. i should seriously start freshening my mind up . suprisingly, i am able to understand maths and cope with it now .

i dont understand why almost everyone is eager about valentine's day while me , i cant be bothered . as in , really really dont care ! what's so exciting about it ? i mean , i'm not just saying it cause i dont have a date or so . i'm just not interested . someone wanted to bring me out , but nahhh ~ everyday can be valentine's day and not only on the 14th February itself , right ? i make sense , you know ! my bestfs cant even be bothered about it as well . friends celebrate valentine's day together , fucking sweet right ? haha !

i diedie wanna watch Percy Jackson and The Lightning Thief ! next week , i suppose . i tore a picture of Logan Lerman in the newspaper and told everyone he's my boyfriend . hahahaha ! no one shall steal him away from me !

sorry ah , he's my boyfriend ! not yours _l_

syahmi said he will go gay for this guy and i told him , Logan's mine ! bitch .

woooooooooooooohooooooooooooooo !

2010-02-09T20:28:00.008+08:00

yesterday , extracted 1 upper tooth and 1 lower tooth on the left side .. dont ask me about it , i'm quite speechless about the process .

a little bit something about TODAY.

didnt attend school .
went for sport's heat at 1.30pm .
ran 100m and 200m .
first place for both .
got into finals .
slept awhile after 200m .
was told that i can go home .
i hate mr karamjit .
i missed 200m FINAL .
mustaqim missed his 400m FINAL .
because that karamjit didnt inform us earlier.
zhaskia was happy that i left .
zhaskia got first for the 200m final .
i cant run for 200m anymore .
i'm quite pissed but chillin' .
lastly, FUCK !

thanks shahidah for informing me about it . yeah , it's not my year now. it's hers , let her be happy for once . chey ! well , i know you and a few others are quite unhappy about it , but nevermind okay . karamjit should organize it properly next time , tsk . it's so fucking stupid to have FINALS on the same day as heats . bodoh pe ! grrrr .

so , on the actual day , i'll be running for 100m and relay . hmph ! might be joining the Swift Athletes Team soon (:

2010-02-05T20:09:00.003+08:00

i dont understand what's wrong with me . what's happening to the girl who is always patient and always enduring things around her . it feels as if someone has taken it away from me . i get so temperamental so easily nowadays . someone will always get on my last nerve and i will lose my patience afterall . i hate it when anyone screams at me , better yet , accuse me ! how do you expect me to reply you ? of course i'll give you one hell of my screams back at ya right ! then you'll tell me that i'm rude . so whaaat ?! come on , where's the 'settle things in a nice way' ? some teachers are all bullshit ! no, i'm not gonna apologise . take my word for it , i wont ever do so . vulgarities and insults came out from my mouth , you cant blame me . you made me say it . now , seriously get the fuck off . if you were to announce my name infront of the school on monday , i'm sure i wont hesitate to fight back , even to the VP/P. do you know the meaning of fight ? yes , i fight . i fight for my rights (:

let's see if you old faggot man remember it on monday, yeah ? i dont bother about what's gonna happen to me . school's been a hell for me ! pffts .

arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh' !!

2010-02-03T19:49:00.002+08:00

went ITE EAST {very fun !} >> sky garden . blablabla . lazy to blog .

2010-01-31T02:15:00.011+08:00

i found this video inside my thumbdrive's folder . i was in Secondary One back then and one of the event that i participated in was 4 x 100 relay . look out for the runners in RED { first lane } , i'm one of them !

first runner , fiona .
second runner , fanny .
third runner, ME !
fourth runner, shahidah .

fortunately { LOL ! } , i took over 3-4 opponents and emerald last runner fell , so we got first place . ahahaha ! O.M.G , observe 'me' carefully . chey ! i'm bragging , hehehe ! (x

die ah , this year i'm participating in 100m , 200m and 4 x 100m . i might join cheerleading as well , hmph ! that is if there's still a slot left for me like what shasha mentioned . heeee !

WATCH !

pussy . i oath i will always love babyRA . <3 {random}

i am in triangle ..

2010-01-30T15:36:00.002+08:00

my first time taking Xray . hahahahahahaha ! cant believe i laughed when i took it out of the envelope . tsk . so cooool can ?! i jakun you know . hehe . if you're wondering , i have to take Xrays for the process of putting braces on . i'm not sure when is the next appointment but i bet i'll be plucking four of my teeth out . scary dok ~

2010-01-30T00:14:00.003+08:00

i have no freaking idea of what to post !

had maths and physics test just now . physic was quite easy but maths , maths i tell you ! i looked at the freaking paper and my mind went (...............) . i cant even think of a method or whatever they call those little workings for a particular thingy thing . so i skipped to the next page and just scribbled some shit that i can think of . i CAN actually think, tsk . i swear i'll fail my maths test . well , probably most of us would because we somehow leave a few blanks behind . i didnt even touched the first page . all i wrote was [ a) , b) , c) , d) ] . it's so pathetic that i kept changing my sitting posture and got stressed over it . fuck , grr . if almost the whole class fail , i'll probably have to do something about it . i mean , seriously . it's not because of us , it's not because we're not interested in her teachings , it's not because we cant concentrate . it's just that , her fucking teachings are bloody crapshit and she's the one who made us not interested in her imbecile subject therefore it's hard to focus. you know ? i tried to concentrate which i really did my very best to do so yet i cant and whatever she taught us , went in and then went out . you get me ? i got a feeling that i might retain this year , pffts . hopefully physics , chemistry , geography , design & technology , mother tongue and english would pull me up !

2010-01-28T00:04:00.004+08:00

i love my best friends (: who say you cant have more than one ? tsk . i have 6 , beat that ! i treat everyone of them equally with a wholehearted love . they're different in their own ways and each of them has their own special and unique personality that can totally blend with mine and the others . let's just say , my bestfriends are all childish and immature even though we are all fifteen/sixteen (which is true) . it make things go far way more than fun because we're fun with the 'er' and the 'est' . you get me ? no ? pffts . for all you know , those minahs out there can hate me all they want to but sadly )': , i dont lose a thing . i dont owe you a living and please , grow up ! at least even though i'm childish , i can think like a fifteen . whoever those Guangyang Sec girls , please eh ! please ehhhh . perangai biar budak-budak tapi otak kasi matang eh ! luckily i'm not a friend of yours . if i am , i'll be grossing out ! ewwww, minahs hating me for no reason ? pathetic oOoOoh . i didnt even do a thing and i dont even know who you are ! ya allah ! tsk3 . Oops , i dont care ah . find me if you want me (:

2010-01-25T23:02:00.004+08:00

gees , what an old picture .

anyway , i cant believe it when the guy above,

Haiqal, told me he has the same birth date as me .

i mean , now then i know ? dang ~

HAPPY 14TH BIRTHDAY , HAIQAL !

he wanted to shake my hand for i dont know what reason and he smiled .

me : uhm , birthday wish takde ?

him : uh ? birthday kau ? oh , aku ingatkan birthday aku niari ?

me : huh ?

him : *smile*

ran after him ,

me : wait ! birthday kau same ngan aku ?

him : (show the "shhh" sign .)

me : wahh ! cool sey .

pathetic eh me ! sorry for those who dont understand my mother tongue language (:

anyway , there's something i wanna share about Rusydi .

just now , we went to the 7eleven store to get ourselves some beverages and food .

there was this small primary school boy and Rusydi asked ,

Rusydi : eh boy , you think she how old uh ? (points at me)

small boy : uhm . thirteen ?

me : omg, i'm fifteen ! fifteen !

Rusydi : eh boy , you think she pretty not ?

small boy : uhm , yaaaa .

me : *laughs*

Rusydi raised his eyebrow at me and i just smiled .

LOL . suke uh Rusydi kacau orang , tsk !

i like Rusydi personality and his very childish behavior .

it excites me , lol !

anyway, i went for DENTAL appointment just now for braces.

i was told that the next appointment , 4 tooth will be plucked out.

{screams ! i'm scared.}

2010-01-25T20:15:00.015+08:00

HAPPY 15TH BIRTHDAY , MYSELF !

thank you for the birthday wishes / bashes / hugs / kisses / handshakes .. ! it's so unexpected that a few of my ex-classmates still remember my birth date , hehe . i got alot of wishes from my schoolmates . tons of them ! i was just smiling / laughing and saying thanks . some of them , who didnt knew about it , went ' today your birthday ?! really ?! happy birthday ! '

today was great , no , it was better than great . it was awesome ! hehe . after school, naufal and hafizah brought me to ah hood garden and we waited for wiwi , dewi and azman for like i dont know how many hours ? heh . worth to wait ! while waiting , my schoolmates (guys) came along and they played 'squeeze his balls' game , tsk . it's funny you know ! then i got to know , they were all in this together with my friends about the surprise bash . hmph, i dont know what took wiwi and others so long because i wasnt expecting anything . righttt . so later on , they came and asked me to follow them . i stoned when dewi suddenly cover my eyes with her hands . it feels like she doesnt even cover it , she was grabbing it ! haha . there , two videos .

the boys playing the 'game' or i shall call it BULLYING .

down here; the surprise birthday bash ! 4 minutes .

bestfriend (naufal) , wrote something in his blog . it's very sweet ! as sweet as wiwi's birthday wish text . here , http://www.4-d-definition.blogspot.com/ .

a little sneak peek of it ,

it's time for pictures !

FYI , they all look like my big brothers & sisters when actually , i'm the eldest ! exclude Hafizah .
these people below are my beloved true friends (:

2010-01-25T20:15:00.012+08:00

banish everything about school hours today. im'ma just skip to chemistry lesson which is a total havoc, chaotic and wild with much hell of a fun ! i and we cant deny . im'ma just let the videos do the story telling ayes ? hehe . they are in order of what happens after another .

Kian Siang & Rusydi , playing with the fire .

My 'work'

Hafizah broke it (:

Rusydi putting on green flames using our 'work' .

Rusydi playing a fool (:

2010-01-24T16:33:00.005+08:00

ROHAIMI REMEMBERS MY BIRTHDAY ! {screams !}

my ex senior , ex crush and also my favorite senior .

i texted him ,

myself : hello , do you remember when is my birthday ?

him : sorry for the super late eply... yupp tml kan?? haha

myself : hahaha, takpe . AH YOU REMEMBER! YAYAY! ^.^ TY.

him : haha of course lerrr...

myself : haha , how you know ? confirm ali tell , kankan !

him : i ingat ok ... jgn sembarang tembak tau!! errgh .

myself : whoa ! unexpected . sorry okay (: glad you remember. anyway, you busy or what ?

...

.....

.......

.....

...

let's not elaborate it . let's see who else remember my birthday tomorrow .

i wont be expecting baby cause i'm quite disappointed, zZzZZ .. -.- '

2010-01-24T15:41:00.003+08:00

ms. kambing , i miss you so much and i dont know if you do too . i want the old you , the one that i can totally get along pretty well with . in school , the way we communicate isnt the same anymore . i miss every single thing ..
mr. reindeer , i hope you go through life slowly and stop rushing things . at least , learn something from your past and for all you know , i'm always here for you . your secrets is still safe with me without being told.
mr. donald duck , you're the awesomest friend i ever had . you're not afraid of sharing things with me . you were always there when i'm in need and also , made me laugh with your silly jokes . i hope we continue being friends even though it feels like decades since we met . we should meet up soon !
mr. donkey , you dont know how badly i miss you . the one that could share almost everything with me without hesitation and i could share everything too and i dont know where you're now . dont m.i.a please and get a phone , so i can contact you ! the last time we met was 3 years back . it's weird how we got this close when you used to hate me before for i dont know what reason.
mr. frog , thanks for going through primary school life with me but now , we're no longer best friends . i still doubt you ever treat me like one before and now . i'm sorry for not remembering your birthday and i hope we could meet up soon so i can hug you tightly . i miss you (:

i hope you guys know who you are because i feel like tearing up now. for all these people above , we used to be very close and then , i dont know what happened )':

2010-01-24T14:45:00.007+08:00

i miss this fringe )': !

scratch everything (zapzapzap !) , i cant believe i'm left with just a day to my so called should be my happiest day ? i dont feel excited about it though , because i dont expect anything this year . whoa , it's so not me right right right! i know ! i bet some people who i 'actually' expect to remember , they dont . sob sob )':

but i'm not gonna be upset over it (useless) because i'm very glad someone remember my birthday . he actually did ,whoa ! after 234122423 months not meeting each other , he actually did . surprising enough eh ! he's none other than , Fadzli ! also known as Ali Ballack (:

now i'm trying to find a picture of him on my friendster which i dont really log in into that often . argh ! now i'm having stomachaches , how uptight can it be . i haven't even indulge anything . well , except for biscuits . (na, na, na) . aha ! i found his picture . not a good one , but yeah atleast there's something . i miss him ! really i do and his best friend , Rohaimi . wait , i wonder if he remember my birthday too (hmmm..) okay , fuck my birthday . i'm so gonna have fun with my friends tomorrow morning ! hehe . you know what ! dont blame me for being hyper . righhhht ..

here , presenting my dearest brother Fadzli .. so matrep-ish but he's actually a good guy (:

i am not a happy kid ! hahaha . anyway , thanks to SOMEONE for thinking that my birthday is on 23rd (sarcastic, bitch !) and also a special thanks to my friends and also DEANNA SHERINE for remembering it correctly ? hahaha , yeah

the reason why i am VERY quiet and hot tempered nowadays is because THERE'S ALOT OF THINGS HAPPENING IN THIS HOUSE . thanks for being understanding ayes, you people .

2010-01-23T20:11:00.003+08:00

i dont know what's wrong with this picture but i sense there's something wrong , yet i dont know what . can someone tell me , please ?! anyway , my eye recovered . wooohooo ! sadly , cant use contact lens for a month which mean , i'm back on track on 10 February . yeaaaah !

2010-01-22T00:04:00.008+08:00

something very dumb happened in school on 21st January 2010 . so it was Maths lesson and Thursday would always be the most hated day for now, thanks to the timetable .

so , when Ms Irene Ng {my form teacher and also my maths teacher} came into the class , i raised up my hand . imagine how long do i have to raise it up just to get her bloody goddamn imbecile attention and yet she still doesnt notice it . even when i called her up , she didnt even give a bloody shit about it . come on cher , you're not deaf ! i got fed up with her and carried my chair to the front in between Nurul and Hafizah . she then asked me ,

Irene Ng : suhaila ? why are you here ?
myself : i want to sit in front ! cause i want to concentrate ..
Irene Ng : you didnt even ask for my permission .
myself : eh cher ! when you came into the class, i raised up my hand for how long you know !
Irene Ng : you could at least wait for me to call you up . i know you'll later talk to them.
myself : whaaaat ? i raised up , you didnt even notice it . i call you , you didnt even hear . i want to sit in front , i want to concentrate ! i cant concentrate if i sit at the back ! i wont talk okay !
Irene Ng : no , go back to your seat !

so i went back to my seat and raised up my hand ,

myself : excuse me , cher . can i have your permission to sit infront ?
class : *laughs .
Irene Ng : noo . you will talk to them and {blablablabla, i cant be bothered to listen]
myself : haiyaaaaaaa . -.-'

and thanks ahfat , for trying to convince her to let me sit in front by saying i'm short , tsk . so since KS had to go out of the class for not doing his work , i sat at his place silently and there ,

Irene Ng : suhaila , why are you there ? go back to your place !
myself : what the fuck ? i want to concentrate right ! concentrate also cannot , it's not like i'm gonna talk or whaaat !
Irene Ng : no , go back to your seat .
myself : WALAAAAAAU !
Irene Ng : suhaila ! 1 hour detention !
myself : I DONT CARE LA ! YOU VERY LAME SIA CHER ! WTF .

went back to my seat again , and i saw her writing my name somewhere in the class journal and i shouted ,

myself : I COMPLAIN TO MY MOTHER !
class : *laughs .

KS came into the class and asked me what happened . i'm sorry , 3n3 , for a reason . i was given detention because i said 'walau!' . for all you know , this fucktard teacher got the sensitive side of her and i served detention for 1 hour cleaning up the class , shit . went home , complained to mummy and she told me she will head to my school to meet up with the teacher or if possible , the principle or MOE as well . i was like 'yeahhhhh !' . i had enough in this school , i swear . the last time was when i was in secondary one . principle called us out for 'fuck care i dont wanna talk about it again' and we almost got suspended . it was fortunate enough that she gave us another chance to change our behavior .

Dear Irene Ng ,

first of all , i would like to say that for a teacher , you are indeed very lame and so unreasonable . i wanted to sit in front because i wanted to pay attention and yet you're not allowing me to . it shows , you dont show respect for your student and you're expecting me , yes me ? , to respect you ? fuck you hard okay . you dont understand us, we wont understand you . please, for once wake up your mind . 3n3 hates you , alot . dont think of yourself . when the students raised up their hands and told you to make your font size handwriting bigger , you told us to get used to it . so this is how you teach the students , expecting us to learn something from you ? if you have a small font size handwriting, how the fuck can the students learn ? for god sake , you dont even know how to fucking teach . dont be a teacher , please . you're a huge disgrace . no wonder you're a MISS . you look like a retarded faggot with a distorted visage and fuck , how fugly can you actually get ? i wanna sit in front not to see your fugly face eh , please . i just wanna concentrate . you placed my seat next to the window , at the fucking 2nd last seat . how the fuck can i have a good view ? i'm small and KS is in front of me . his head is huge ! fuck you , cher . you spoilt me . you wanna know why ? i was planning to be a good girl and to be nice towards everyone this year , this bloody goddamn year , and to not be rude to teachers or whoever and you , fuck you , for ruining it . i cant take it anymore , i didn't even fucking spout vulgar on you okay . you'll get what you deserve sooner cause I'll probably make you cry anytime soon and whatever happens to me , i dont give a fuck . i hate it when my old behavior comes back to live . so, test my patience ayes . i'll change my behavior once I'm done with you .

FUCK YOU THE HARDEST , IRENE NG ! may you die sooner . <3

2010-01-19T20:38:00.006+08:00

HAKEEM , YOU'RE FUCKING LAME (:

i have tons {okay, maybe not tons} of Design and Technology assignments . dead line is on the next next week , phew ! i guess i'll be busy this week and the one ahead as i'm gonna be focusing on those assignments . A1 student eh ! fake . i was planning to work hard and put in my biggest effort in it so i can take O level for it next year . oh well , hopefully . time plan , meaning , mind map, image board and situations. feels like hell but i wont complain ! it's time to endure and go hard core (:

i cant exactly remember what happened today but i know , the most who put on lots of laughters in me are Rusydi and Kian Siang . Kian Siang's white hairs is his main focus now , lol . i'll be plucking them out tomorrow as to what he wants me to . i love it when Kian Siang disturb nurul , serious . my stomach can burst anytime soon . especially when Rusydi taught him malay insulting words to insult Nurul and the way he pronounced them and all , hilarious ! he shouted across the class and Nurul pretend to ignore .

Nurul badan macam boyah .

Nurul main ''gedebuuk gedebaakk x2"

Nurul barang baik !

Nurul kaki macam drumstick , chicken wing hand .

Nurul muke taik , kene langgar MRT .

yeah , it's childish but you cant stand laughing so hard if you're there . it might not sound funny but trust me , if you aint there , we dont need your comment .

There was once , Rusydi seduced Kian Siang's butt and Kian Siang thought it was Hafizah who did it because she was right behind him.haha ! and he went 'ooooooi , you did it right ? you right ? you right! " .. and another , Hafizah and Kian Siang fought just because of a piece of paper {-.-'} and they play catch around the classroom till Kian Siang decided to went out of the class and slammed the door infront of her face . chaotic or whaaat !

finally , baby ! i'm sorry i didnt text you .

2010-01-18T21:23:00.003+08:00

baby , you wanna see my ex boyfriend's face right ? here you go ! face kental , you know but in reality , hardcore pure matrep . pffts , i hate . the kind yang betul-betul tak 'takot' orang punye , hmph . pictures found at his friendster , haha .

2010-01-16T13:51:00.008+08:00

i had fun in school yesterday instead of staying at home during my 3 days medical leave . tsk . there was no way i'm going to school with this kind of condition even when i'm on leave . so i used up the 3 days till it's over . most of my classmates really made my day , yesterday . start off with a good start . i had everyone staring at me during the morning assembly because i was with my eye patch and there goes , my classmates with 'pirate' , 'jack sparrow' and 'pirate of the caribbean : the return of {my name}' . couldnt help myself , so i laughed as well . KS scolded me whenever i took it out , tsk . wherelse Syahmi asked me to pass the sore eye to him so he wouldnt have to come to school . everyone wanted to see my eye , so i let them . KS told me to go home and take another MC, Ahmad asked me to see a doctor , others asked me to get well soon . very caring classmates , you know ! i'm in love with 3N3 (: the whole period of every lesson , i was with KS, Hafizah and Syahmi the most . i mean , i sat infront of KS then Syahmi and Hafizah came along . so cool , you know ! we laughed a lot and little bit did we pay attention to our teachers . i dont see a reason why Syahmi retained twice . he's fucking smart in maths and combined science . i'm not sure about english though . sitting beside him got me staring at him A LOT because he was doing his work very well with confident. i repeat , very well with confident. maybe one of his new year resolution huh ? hopefully, this year he dont retain anymore ayes . same goes to KS , tsk . thanks to Rusydi and Raihan too , for brightening my day . my fellow bestfs , buddies and closefs as well . i think my good eye will get infected soon . please , hopefully not . it's so fucking difficult to concentrate in class with just one eye studying . by the way , i love chemistry and physics ! i cant wait for 25 january ! no , not because it's my birthday {fuck it} . it's because i'm gonna have my 1st dental appointment for braces (x

psst : i love my hair !

2010-01-14T22:32:00.004+08:00

naufal bestf just updated his blog . haha ^.^

the moments . no , i'm not crying . haha ! tears wasted eh . pain sey )':

2010-01-14T16:40:00.009+08:00

I MISS THESE BUNCH OF PEOPLE !

norazman , bestfriend ku !

wiwi adriana, best babyg buddy <3>

soffina elmelda (babyg),
rusydi syazwan (best favourite buddy),
nurhafizah (babyg),
noraihan (best annoying buddy),
khairul anuar (ex boyf),
muhd naufal (bestf),
dewi ratnasari (babyg),
ridhwan (ahfat),
kian siang,
syahmi,
deevesh .

i miss listening to teacher nags and kian siang will crack something out of it . i miss syahmi saying something and kian siang will do something that will make syahmi annoyed . i miss kian siang staring at me which makes me think he's retarded . i miss doing faces to wiwi adriana during class . i miss talking to deevesh and listening to him criticising others . i miss shouting at ridhwan across the class . i miss walking pass rusydi in class and we'll smile to each other . i miss sharing things with hafizah . i miss raihan saying ''eh , kau cute uh, pendek !'' to me. i miss disturbing soffina elmelda . i miss pinching azman's butt . i miss the way khairul poke me . i miss talking about every single thing and laughing with naufal . i miss hearing dewi's laughter .

enough said . here's pictures of me with sore eye . ONE EYE JACK eh, raihan ! (x

fugly siaaaaaa ! and for raihan's information ayes , i'm going to school tomorrow with one eye patch . so , i'm prepared to be disturbed by you , nyahahaha . one eye jack ~

2010-01-13T02:01:00.004+08:00

it's funny how a person ask for the only someone's opinion and when that someone is honest about it ,that person is willing to change something for that someone to let it be clear enough so that someone could get an obvious hint that that something is for that someone without telling that someone directly nor making it direct that it's about that someone and then , making that someone figure it out by herself. why cant people be truthful and straight-forward about it ? not ready yet ? tsk .

just like this post , it is not a direct post (:

i love babyRA .

2010-01-10T10:10:00.004+08:00

i have tons to update about but i'm not gonna do so . a little bit of it will do eh .

so , school's a fuck up this year . they're trying to be strict now which wont make things go smooth . since when they bother about short skirts and altered long pants ? sheesh ! i wasnt caught , but was asked to get a second check by the dp or whatsoever they call those faggot teachers . i think it's better to go school without fringe , seriously . i dont have to be chased after by that thiru woman again cause i've had enough of being chased for 2 previous years , tsk . i think i'm getting the hang of it {school} , cause i can pretty much concentrate right now . preparing for next year's promotion to secondary four normal academic and then to secondary five. at first, i thought my class would be a total shit because the first day of school was totally screwed but yeah , my class is soooo awesome now ! why ? cause of Kian Siang (sp?) and Syahmi , those retain kids . along with Rusydi , Ahmad and Raihan . i like talking to Kian Siang and Syahmi but something about Kian Siang makes me think he's retarded , pffts . i'm in love with computer application , geography , maths , chemistry and design and technology . wait, every subject can ? tsk . got three new classmates in class . Thailand , Phillipine , China . blablablabla . i'm still trying to find time to get to know the secondary ones . here's something i dont expect to happen , i'm getting close to rusydi {apek} , my ex {khai} and raihan . okay, so rusydi and raihan , they're already close to me from the start but i dont see a wrong in being nice to khai because he's my friend and he's trying to treat me like one as well . azman shocked eh ! haha . khai's classmates irritating sial , 'weewit' here and there . like i said , there's never gonna be another chance for us . i hope baby dont mind me being close to him . i dont wanna keep anything from baby nor hurt him eh , please . so baby , if you're reading this and dont feel good about it , tell me kays cause i have a heart to take care of =D

ps : my right eye is sore and it's getting worse .
thanks eh baby for telling me it's gonna get better soon . haha !
hopefully i'm allowed to go to school tomorrow =(
stupid contagious sore eyes !

and then , i'm gonna make this blog dead again . byeeeeeeeeeee ~

2010-01-03T00:29:00.003+08:00

I believe everything happens for a reason . People change so that you can learn how to let go . Things go wrong so that you can appreciate them when they're right . You believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself , and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together .

i got this off a close friend's blog . she's right about everything that is written above. 2009 was the best only when i got to know baby but i guess people change huh ? i know i do too , but atleast , i wouldnt go to the extend which will eventually hurt the one i truly love . well , maybe it's time for me to accept the reality and the fact that things wont turn out like it used to be . someone change , must i really let him go ? but i need a reason why he change and why i should let go . i'll probably stay , even if i shouldnt )':

i cant believe this is happening ..

2010-01-02T01:31:00.003+08:00

got tired of it ,

so decided to accept everyone . -.-'
guess what ? all boys , pffts . no fun `

2010-01-01T08:09:00.004+08:00

note : fuck fucking fucker irritating fucked up news for those who text-ed me yesterday {31/12/09} night at around 9.30pm+ . i apologize if i didn't reply your text or answer your call .

lost my goddamn phone yesterday . a pretty bad luck huh ? the same date as countdown some more ! rode bicycle at east coast park , i think it fell or i misplaced it somewhere but i was pretty sure i put it in my bag . the last person who i text-ed was baby . realized it only when i reached the shop which i rented my bicycle because i was searching for it to call the other cliques . actually , i stopped halfway near a toilet to check my bag and i did asked my friends to stop cycling and wait for me . guess what ? they stopped and while i was searching , they cycled off . i called out to them , gee ! fucked up. so i stopped searching and just proceeded to return our bicycle. argh! searched and then , yeah . lost and panicked. i went all the way back to the hawker center {somewhere near the bedok jetty} alone . i mean , you imagine ! i came back from there and had to go all the way back to retrace my track . asked around , still couldn't find . gave up and halfway walked and halfway cycled to the bicycle shop when i saw my other cliques who weren't renting a bicycle . reached our destination , i sat under a tree alone . upset , obviously. text-ed mum and baby using azman's phone. mum replied , baby didn't . pffts . so mum called , talked and i started crying . i wasnt scolded ^.^ ! then everything went smoothly , i cooled down . just as i was about to cool down , i screamed . haha . then everyone was looking at me . cool or what ! mum called starhub to cut my line and had to go Plaza Singapura tomorrow to collect a new sim card but with the same number. i'm like elaborating what happened , nyahaha .

too much memories on and in that phone. the only thing i would probably miss is scrolling and reading again baby's sweet text-ed over and over again that i've been keeping it in my phone. the only reason why i would miss it because baby isnt what he used to be anymore . he's rarely sweet N-O-W. i don't care , but that's the only messages that could make me smile when i'm mad at him or something . another problem is , i dont have a spare phone . well , i do but their cover will be like loose , the on off button came off and all sorts of you know what . fuck 2009, seriously and fuck east coast park . i've been losing my things there ever since , pffts . i swear i shall not go there anymore {maybe} and i shall not celebrate countdown in the future . anyway, thanks to cliques for trying to cheer me up and made my day by shouting and screaming during the fireworks and me , making myself look bad when everyone's looking at the fireworks silently and i started to scream . one matrep jumped of shock and looked at me smiling. his female friends smiled at me , haha . i guess i was the loudest there huh ? so much of a broken heart of losing my hand phone . i was , you know , UPSET , just trying to make myself cheer up by fooling myself and let everything loose .

i saw MARY ALISSA JACOB ! she tegur-ed me but i was too upset about my phone that i didnt bother to talk to her but just looked at her , smiled , waved and walked off and yeah , i was very squid-ky . pretty sio she ! hehe .

2009-12-30T05:15:00.002+08:00

secondary one youtube crush <3
(x i love his smile ~
and yes , i cant sleep .

just now at 1.30am , the chinese guys around my area made my day when they horned their car into rhythms . jees , it made me laughed and then i heard a police siren , telling them to stop the car. pffts ! i dont know what happened . haha . screwed ~

2009-12-29T23:57:00.015+08:00

fuck you ! so this is where the fun gets huh ? just because i didnt text you , you're making a biggest fuck out of it and told me not to text you at all next time ? do you even reconsider what you're gonna say ? why ? found someone else who could make you smile even wider ? so , i guess it's a game to you right. have fun yet ? i bet you do . guess what ? i've had enough of giving in , always making it look like it's all my fault whereby you , always blaming me eventhough i shouldnt even be blamed for . wait , you think it's funny ? it's not , baby . i get tired every single time when you're like this . i just cant take it anymore . on the other hand , i cant bare to lose you . you like it , dont you ? saying things you shouldnt say and then , walk away from it as if it's my fault and expecting me to apologise . no, baby, no . i'm not gonna cry anymore nor drip a single teardrop for you. even if i did , you acted as if you dont care . maybe you really dont . i'm already weak and you're making me weaker whenever we're like this . is this a hint ? should i take note ? i guess you werent really serious in everything you said . if i'm testing your patience , then i'm sorry . you're getting on my last nerve right now. you know what , i'm done . dont care about my feelings all you want , cause i wont stop caring for you . oh well , i guess reading this probably makes you laugh and smile . you did a very good job for the past 5 months baby, congratulation ~ i dont have to hesitate to text you anymore cause you can get almost every girl you want to text you and still , i cant stop you . maybe they're better than me , no doubt . go on , go ahead . no one's getting in your way . sorry if i'm the cause you stopped texting other girls , or maybe you've been telling a lie . nah , i dont care . i've been avoiding Fariz , Mal , Hady, Ami , Fadzli , Azusa , Khairil , Khairul and Ciko all for good . i'm not hurt , no i'm not . you're not hurting me , you never hurt me . i'm just over-reacting . i'm no one , by the way . enjoy your life , love ! there's no regret . i love you (:

2009-12-29T20:40:00.003+08:00

GHOST !

my mum just told me, yesterday uncle #1 saw a black figure standing right below him when he's asleep at the 'setty', staring at uncle #2 whom was asleep at the sofa . the other one was that , yesterday my little brother saw a black figure walking pass his bedroom every single time around midnight. coolshit ! before, i saw one running pass me when i was about to go to the toilet at midnight and uncle #2 saw a black figure standing still at the kitchen when he was asleep on the floor , facing the kitchen during our house renovation . i wonder if uncle #2 is the one who brought it home , tsk .

2009-12-28T01:51:00.001+08:00

baby , my life was coloured by you and now ,

i dont think i wanna turn back time if i could .

random ! haha .

anyway , tumblr updated (:

2009-12-26T05:45:00.009+08:00

anyway , i've been feeling quite lucky lately or shall i say 'cool' . gee , i almost sound like wiwi . tsk ! haha . so jyeah , a little update !

mum told me to go for acting audition at mediacorp because she knew i went for drama classes when i was still 12 - 13 years old and stopped going in the mids of last year . she also thought that i was quite 'good' in acting , i doubt that myself . since i too , get compliments and praises from my drama class mates and my instructor. so basically, the person/instructor who taught me alot of things in drama was an actress herself , Annabelle , Sheikh Haikel's wife . she was very good , too good , to be precise . i was the 'Chilli Padi' in that drama class , as to what Annabelle would always label me as . i'm still hesitating on whether to go for it or just forget about it . mimi'squid wanna go for an audition too and she told me to tag along but i refused because i wasnt ready . even my bestfriend , a drama club member , wanna tag me along . i'm not sure , grr .. i mean , a wise guy once told me that celebrity world and normal world isnt the same . he prefers being normal because it's not easy being a celebrity . again , he told me that i would face the same thing i face in normal life because being a celebrity doesnt mean things will always go on my track . i'll face ups and downs as well just like others do and that , it's very annoying when you're somewhere and people staring at you , going like 'omg , she's an actress right ?' yadayadayada . i shouldnt actually get all stressed up about this . help ! i think i need to seek advice from lydia asyiqin . hmph ! maybe i should just go for it , if i get , then im'ma go along but if i dont , then well i should try again ? lol . i just discovered something about myself ! which is a total secret . i would only show it if someone dare me to , during my birthday (x

2009-12-26T03:04:00.005+08:00

TUMBLR

created a tumblr because i find it interesting and too tempting to create one !
here's my link . http://whenithappensagain.tumblr.com/ .
those with thumblr, do follow me yeah ?
and i'll be updating both my blogger and tumblr .
dont worry (:

2009-12-23T04:11:00.008+08:00

i'm sure many of you have heard of her .
Stacey Herald , search for her and her stories ..

as you can see , it doesnt matter how you look like .
going for looks may be the best for you,
but looking what's inside a particular person is what you need .
nothing is perfect in this world, neither you nor me .
it takes two heart to fill up the word 'LOVE' completely .
seeing right through the other person ,
knowing that she/he is the one for you despite how she/he look like ,
because at the end of the day ,
you'll know she/he will be your one and only ,
the person who would bring you so much joy and also depression ,
most likely , to complete your life with love and concern ,
and then said , no matter what he/she will always love you .

in life , you just need one . not two but one .
one person to tell you that you may not be perfect to others ,
but you're perfect in his/her eyes .
and for as long as you live ,
love is all where it begins with .

it doesnt matter if you dont feel good about yourself ,
because there will always be one person in this earth ,
that god created for us .
that person might not be perfect too ,
but that person will most likely to show you
how wonderful LOVE can be ,
and how you should never get involves in negative thoughts ,
because , what you see in that person ,
is what you reflect to yourself .
it bring wonders in life ,
just like the way you look like bring wonders to that person .

being upset why you look that way shouldnt be a problem ,
because if someone truly loves you ,
the way you look ? nah , it wont bother them .
as long as your heart is sincere and you'll put in commitment,
that's where it all gets .
soft kissing lips with a wonderful warm hug ,
because feeling comfortable with him/her is where the comfort zone gets .
it matters if you're comfortable with them .
it matters if you're in love with them ,
but what matter most is , the blossom of the love that starts from infatuation .
will it ever stop ? will it fade somehow ? then it's not true love .
will you wait ? yes , words are words .
action speaks louder than words .
show the ones you love , how much you really need them .
again , despite the way they look .
for as they're everything you need .

waking up next to a gorgeous looking lady/man ,

but he/she is one horny sex slut maniac freak with bad personalities?

gross , disgusting , euwh !

come on people ! clear your eyes , use your brain .

start looking for what you really need !

with love ,
amethyst LALA qaphsiel .

i hope readers will get the idea of this post because what i typed down is worth reading and worth a knowledge to be knock inside that useless brain . sorry for my unsatisfying grammars or crap because i wrote it without stopping or 'backspacing' .. reading this ? TAG ME PLEASE! ):

2009-12-22T02:47:00.003+08:00

I'VE JUST NOTICED !
THE YOU YOU YOU AND ~~YOU~~ IS STUPID ! I MEAN , I'M STUPID .
CAUSE I THOUGHT IT WRONGLY .
I MEAN , YOU YOU AND ~~YOU~~ IS TRUE BUT YOU ISNT.
I'M SO NEGATIVE , OH MY GOD ! I LOVE YOU !
OH MY GOD , SORRY WIWI & AZMAN.
I GAVE THE WRONG INFORMATION . LOL !
OH MY GOD YOU , I'M SORRY FOR ACCUSING YOU . I LOVE YOU KAY .
I'VE DELETED THE PREVIOUS POST .
DIE AH IF YOU READS IT . LMAO !

2009-12-22T00:04:00.006+08:00

it's official , i'm going Downtown East for countdown . or maybe ? wait , not too sure . LOL !

2009-12-18T23:16:00.007+08:00

re-editted,

- Today, I was eating lunch out side with my friends, when a spider fell on one guy's back. I glanced at it and opened my mouth to warn him when another guy flicked it and it went into my mouth. I can still taste it. FML

- Today, a spider crawled across my glasses' lens. My first reaction was to smack myself in the face. FML

- Today, I was hit on by a guy who decided to use the line, "My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in." FML

i seized this off http://www.fmylife.com/ . a website where you share all the fucked up things that had happened in that particular day . i often went there to read what others have posted daily whenever i'm bored . okay , so i dont really have a life at night. i find most of it hilarious . if you dont , then you seriously dont have a random sense of humor . -.-' douchebag .

i'm going ngeri sembilan ; kampung for 2 days, later at 4am ! cant wait ! miss me people (x i know baby will miss me , eh ? >.<

2009-12-14T21:01:00.003+08:00

Wawan Tercinta ; tomorrow is his birthday . basically , i have no idea how to wish him because of some reason . he's in a place where he shouldnt be in the first place if he hadn't be infuenced by his friends . i'm not blaming them , who knows he did it with his own will . he took the wrong path . yes, i'm upset with what he did . not even almost a year and he's back in again . he told me not to worry about it . a good friend and a brother to me . he was there when i needed help and he did his best to cheer me up when i'm down . that was before , we lost contact few months later and got right back on track later on . no , i'm not into him . my brother got pretty upset when he got to know about his bestfriend's court date and when he went in . he almost breakdown but tried to endure . i was there with him . watery eyes . i know he's gonna cry . i miss him , brother miss him too ..

2009-12-14T03:33:00.005+08:00

baby , i dont know what's wrong . to be precise , how i was treated today was beyond unexpected but i'm fine with it . i wont complain anymore , i promise . much or less , it wont affect me no more . since you've asked me to be quiet, then i wont complain anymore for your sake. even if i'm upset, hurt, happy, frustrated, depressed or furious , i'll still keep quiet . i wont complain , i wont vent it on you . i wont complain and i will stop complaining ever again. i just want you to be happy and that's it . well , if somethings gonna change .. take note , whatever your reason is , i dont care as long as i know mine wont fade away that easily because it's not surreal . it will always stay the same like it does before . i'm done (:

i just dont feel what i felt way back before now. i dont hate you . maybe it's the other way round ..

2009-12-14T02:23:00.004+08:00

sent brother for National Service on Saturday. obviously he's already botak! now i officially miss him . i can drip teardrops right now but i wouldnt have a point to do so , why bother . he's still returning in a few weeks time . without him around , it's just different . no one irritates me, no one make a big fuss and sing out loud at home and be the one who always laze around with just words but no actions . adik reminded me of him today by the way he acts . he made me laugh just like how Ayul normally does and i almost cry . i know i can be a cry baby at times but depends on what reason it is . who's not ? gee . i'll wait ! well , i love my siblings equally but Ayul is my favourite among the others . so jyeah . *sigh . swear i'm gonna hug him when he's back !

2009-12-11T03:27:00.001+08:00

gee, this mathafaka made my day , mathafaka ! (x

2009-12-09T01:54:00.009+08:00

SHANE DAWSON ! <3
hilarious and awesome !
he have the funniest videos ever .
seriously .

2009-12-08T22:32:00.003+08:00

i fucking cursed you bitches who voted for Sezairi ! abang told me probably it's the MALAY, i repeat M-A-L-A-Y girls , who voted for him . just like the previous ones . Taufik Batisah and Hady Mirza but they're good ! Sezairi's just not up to their standard. no offence. i am terribly upset , seriously . Tabitha is way much more better than Sezairi but what the hell . curse you , minahs ! im'ma vote for Slyvia alot of time next week , just you wait . no matter how high my bill's gonna be , i'll make sure my vote wont go to waste . (: erghh !

2009-12-08T18:42:00.008+08:00

i miss this guy , seriously . i really do . i dont have a specific reason why but from the first day of school , he treats me like his sister and i regretted bullying and teasing him for acting like a 'gangster' in school . i would always vulgar him for no reason and would give him the 'stare' . i dont know why i dislike him so much back then . after months , he suddenly keep himself quiet and stopped talking that much . i knew something went wrong but i dont know what . he's a troublemaker, that's for sure. always get himself in trouble with the police . gee , he would have given me his phone number but then again , he dont own one . aku rindu Haiqal . itu sahaja (: when i meet you next year , i'm sure i'm gonna be a nice senior okay .. infact , he dont mind me holding him like that (above picture) because from what i heard from my cousin (a friend of him too) .. he told my cousin that i was his girlfriend for the first few months of 2009 . *laughs . well , i do look good with him but not gonna happen ! i dont mind uh, i'm every boy's girlfriend (x

and to someone :

please stop lying . forget about everything okay . luckily , i got to know you're just the same as others . i thought you're different but you proved me wrong . that's why you've been acting very strange lately . i'm not pointing fingers , but you really disappoint me . i've got feelings too and never did i do something that would hurt you deeply . unfortunately, luck isnt by my side this time . you're pathetic as i thought you would be and then again , i never regretted being by your side cause you showed me what it's like to have someone special in my heart . everything happens for a reason . one thing that i regretted doing is, for showing too much feelings , if you know what i mean . now , you dont stand a chance anymore . thanks for making me feel wanted, secured and loved , brother. i'm gonna pretend nothing's happening . you figure out yourself okay. i'm not me anymore. i'm sorry if the future gonna hurt you. (:

2009-12-08T14:16:00.001+08:00

enough drama from yesterday .
i've deleted the previous post .

2009-12-06T13:18:00.005+08:00

~~HAPPY BIRTHDAY , DADDY !~~

i've forgotten how old are you but i guess you're already too old . laughs*

~~so please , live your life well and dont destroy what you have now .~~

~~age isnt just a number , it represents how you should start doing the right things now,~~

how mature you are and how capable you can be when it comes to 'management'

~~i know i often tease you and be rude to you but oh well ,~~

~~it's not a mirror if there's no reflection right ? you get what i mean .~~

~~i'll make you proud in the future and dont worry about me .~~

~~i know what i should do in life and yeah , even if i have a boyfriend ,~~

~~i know you can trust me to takecare of myself .~~

~~well , i have none now ! just not into it at the moment .~~

eventhough i have another dad in Switzerland , i love both equally !
and eventhough your behavior is such a turn off , i still love you , daddy !

~~z-eriously , 10k . jangan lokek ! give me $100 ! *laughs .~~

~~and thanks for the 'singing talent' .~~

~~oh and you're F-A-T , i have pacs .~~

~~be jealous ! *evil laugh .~~

~~if you're reading this , that means because i've asked you to (x~~

2009-12-06T01:33:00.008+08:00

i soaked that teddy bear with my holy tears .
i hugged it , i wiped my tears with it and covered my face with it while i'm crying ..
i thought i could and would always be strong but i'm ironic .
i'm so weak whenever it comes to this and never did i go through this at all .
but only with you , baby . YOU .
i feel so bloody goddamn weak ..

thanks for forgiving me . i really want things to be the way it used to be .
i dont want you to change , ever . you promised before .
i'm sorry if i'm harsh , i'm sorry if i'm weak .
i know it's stupid to cry , but i'm really weak, bby .
i couldnt control . dont blame me for it .

baby , i know i'm no one to you and you're no one to me ,
but you mean alot to me cause you put an enormous definition in my life .
i know you'll be reading this cause you have my blogger password .
i'm really sorry okay , ily (:

i'm sorry cause i make things in a mess .
i'm sorry cause i'm the one to blame .
i'm sorry cause i started it .
i'm sorry for everything .

even if you're an idiot , you're MY idiot .
i still doubt if you're a liar .
everytime we argue , i lost my appetite ,
and i would force myself to eat because .. look how fxcking skinny i am (:

lastly , thanks deanna sherine binte roslan for cheering me up .
especially 'berenang dalam toilet' , haha .
i love you okay (:

i dreamt something horrible last night about you , bby .
i dont know if it's true but it does stabbed me , it hurts ..

2009-12-05T23:30:00.007+08:00

I AM REALLY SORRY !
i dont know why i'm weak .
i dont know why i'm tearing apart .
i dont know why i'm crying .
i dont know what's going on .
i dont know what happened .
i dont know where it started .
i dont know why you're like this .
i dont know why i'm acting this way .
i dont know why i'm bleeding .
i dont know why i'm upset .

i hate myself for calling you all those , i'm really sorry ..

please please please please please dont be harsh to me .
i feel so insecure and unwanted .

2009-12-05T23:02:00.006+08:00

awesome siblings ! (:

2009-12-03T00:09:00.005+08:00

look how adorable baby is ! (:

i wrote a little something for baby .

okay , maybe not a 'little' .

originally mine , so please dont take credit for it .

except for the ones in malay , i took them from indon shows.

i wrote the ones in english with my heart and soul .

not a single copy from anywhere else .

so please appreciate my hard work , thanks !

she awed the guy who once told her to be herself .
he put glows on her and let her shine .
without fail , laughters and smiles could be seen .
filling it up on this arduous visage .

he changes the main alter of her life .
everything could be seen distinctly now .
feeling invulnerable and desired .
she reckon he was what she hoped for .

he taught her how to lead her life .
from a bleak life to a sensational one .
he put an enormous definition in her .
he was everything to her .

she felt the sincerity of his love .
and marvel if it's true .
maybe she should just hold on ,
to see what awaits for them in the future .

just this emotion that she felt, so strong yet so loving .
he made her feel special with his words .
but only if this love was surreal ,
she wouldnt wanna stay any longer .

she thought ''i wouldnt want to hurt him'' .
and she tried every way not to .
that's the only way she could thanked him .
till now , she did her very best with hopes and strength .
hoping he would probably give her a recognition .

she wrote this from the bottom of her heart .
from how she felt to how she wants to show appreciation .
and the guy who she could only love now or maybe till eternity ,
Muhammad Rian Alfian , that's the guy .
doubt he's the final one , let's not pretend .

she woke up everyday ,
to see if he would always be there for her .
and he's the only guy who could and would understand her ,
tell her that she's not alone .

eventhough he's critical and irrational most of the time .
she tried her best to understand him and tranquil herself .
the amount to how much she loved him is always there ,
and that's the reason why she dont wanna get into a fight .

she slowly understand him and accept him for who he is .
" please, no games nor pretends "
cause she wanna stop lying to herself ,
or worst , hurt herself or anyone .

if only he understand that ,
she's not really playing games .
and she's sincere in everything .
but if he's fooling around ,
she would be pleased to know and then let go .

because she's prepared for the best or the worst .
whatever the outcome is , she dont know if she'll get hurt .
but now she's not ready to go further then ever .
because she sees no hope and strength yet to rise .

this feeling is the first one she ever felt .
there's none other than this .
doubt this is the only feeling she'll feel in her entire life .
because she dont see any other guy besides him ,
who could make her feel this way .
hoping that this could be the first and last .
but if it's just a pretending ,
please go away and dont stay .

lastly , she wanna thank S.W.T Allah .
for giving her a chance to meet such a guy .
especially this guy .
yes, words are words and words are cheap .
from what she know , words with strong meanings
aren't easy to express or better yet , to say it out loud .
so here i am , taking a courage to do so .

Syahadat Cinta .

mulut ku terkunci
sebab seorang jejaka
tersenyum padaku
mata ini tidak ingin berbuat zina
dan hati pun tidak ingin dikuasai nafsu
tetapi jejaka itu selalu hadir dalam jiwaku
siapakah jejaka itu ?
langkah ku terhenti kembali
apakah ini yang di namakan cinta
ku memuji kebesaran allah dan keindahannya
sanggup kah aku mengenalnya ?

demikian pula lah cinta
hanya cinta yang tinggi
yang mampu mendaki puncak keindahannya
dan hanya orang-orang yang mengerti sahaja
yang bisa memahami betapa indahnya cinta

cinta adalah ikhlas dari hati ..
maka lukalah hati itu jika dianggap tidak berperasaan .

cinta hakiki , cinta illahi ..

done !

baby , your smile mellows my soul ..

and i love everything about you (:

2009-12-02T22:36:00.002+08:00

YES ! YOU'RE OUT ! FINALLY !

2009-11-28T14:38:00.009+08:00

re-editted .

heeee , i love myself ! but definitely, not my height ..

i miss my delectably awesomest Kakigereks Seven !

11 december alright !? i cant wait ! oh and i'm still holding onto the 10 bucks . i didnt spend it , so dont worry ayes . never intent to . infact , those 10 bucks are meant for wiwi , ahfat , azman and myself but i'll pay for hafizah and naufal with my own bucks . byebye (:

2009-11-27T10:19:00.007+08:00

re-editted .

technically , my purpose of putting that picture above is because ..

i hate my height . i hate how short i am .

yes, i'm complaining .

i wish i was born in America .

American girls are so tall .

even a 10 year old would look like a 15 .

arghhhh !

people say 'short people are cute'

i say 'GET REAL'

i'm suffering to grow taller (LOL!)

and that is so not cute ..

i didnt celebrate Hari Raya Haji today . well at least i think i did . all i did was to sleep from 2pm - 11pm . that's how my celebration goes . baby knows that i'm a heavy sleep and seriously , dont blame me if you miss me eh bby . bby even missed call me and text me . i didnt even silent my phone . -.-'

2009-11-26T01:46:00.002+08:00

let's get this straight . i dont wanna keep names .

MELDA ARFAITX ! ;

i dont really understand what you're trying to tell us . after all we've been through , you finally decided to back off huh ? why now , why not long time ago ? the reason and the main point to this fxcked up situation is that you've found new friends and forgotten the old ones . well , maybe she's not 'new' . you were primary school friends and just got close to her this year . i'm not blaming her . she's not the reason why we're falling apart . she's not the third party and come on , it's not like i purposely avoid you or something . just a coincident that i was asleep when you asked me to online or better yet , give me calls . a-s-l-e-e-p ! i dont know what has really got into you . looks like you're the one who have forgotten us . it's not that 'part aku , korang sume tak interested' i swear , i dont understand. are you trying to say that whatever your decision is , we're not interested in knowing or even follow ? do you actually think you can just change anything as you wish or like ? get real . we need others opinion too . dont be self-centered, please. you're never the leader , none of us are but you're acting like you are one. i'm not trying to be harsh here. i was very nice to you then, i was the one who would always be there for you , give you advices and whatever shits ayes. infact, i was there for every single one of us . from my view , i dont think you even appreciate a damn thing that i've done for you . oh well, was i some kind of 'stock pakai buang ?' like what apek would label it . whenever you need me, you'll come find me . whenever you're not in need , you'll run free . gosh , get a grip ! let me guess , decided to show your true colours now ? then so be it . have fun with your new friend(s) and yeah , dont worry . we'll have fun too without you . things were never meant to be this way but since you decided it to , we cant object . you said it yourself that you wanna back off . it's your own will . we cant force you to stay . just letting you know that i've cherished and treasured this friendship of ours but yeah , ironic . probably , i'll miss the fun we ever had before . gee , i wont be sad over this . i'm over it already . i dont entertain this kind of fellow nuisance . sorry !

ily and imy babe, always do (:

2009-11-25T14:48:00.006+08:00

I think i'm gonna have a runny nose or something . i've been sneezing from just now .

O-M-G , so cool ! atleast cooler than wiwi . *evil laugh* i love runny nose , i can do that ''disgusting spit sound'' which mum will always go like 'EH ! JANGAN JADI PENGOTOR BOLEH !' and then , i will just laugh .

you know what , i'm so afraid now . cause my nenek went 'nyanyok' just now and wasnt in her world and she's acting like my late grandfather which is her late husband . i may be laughing so hard but actually , i'm just scared whenever she does that , that's why i'm laughing to uphold the fear . fuck ! ergh .

2009-11-25T13:57:00.003+08:00

Oh well , who ever thought i couldnt be in love with a Fillipino American guy ? YES ! that's Daniel Ryan Conferido or more likely to be known as ''Ryanimay'' , a member of Quest Crew. His hair makes him gorgeously attractive . he look extremely adorable when he smile 'spontaneously' and i love the way he move. y'all cant disagree ! duh~ , this is just another celebrity crush . oh wait , he's a celebrity right ? aha , let's take it as a 'yes' . i'm going nuts ! i was in love with Alex Gaskarth then . *laughs . SHUT UP . i'm done (:

ohh , baby MRABR ! you remember that Japanese Canadian Muslim guy i told you ? i think he noticed that i've been avoiding him so he make a move and started to ignore me as well. nice job kan ! _l_ because of this , i dreamt about him . ass-hole sia. dream about baby better ! pffts .

2009-11-23T23:11:00.006+08:00

so Lynn , just in case you wanna see how long my hair/fringe is .

i'll text you once i'm ready and we'll be off to that place you mentioned .

I LOVE MY HAIR BUT I WANNA CUT !

and dont mind my face , i was about to laugh (:

2009-11-23T04:34:00.003+08:00

i'm not sure why i'm pissed off right now . maybe because i don't see a point whereby you have to stay when it's pretty obvious that she's not into you and now, you're treating her like a princess and as if she mean everything to you when there's not even a single chemistry between you two . yes , she can be very nice to you and you may think that the way she treats you , she's into you . well , she's not . i'm a girl , i know that myself . i understand every single sign . she doesn't care about you , you know. c'mon , look at her . not even a single god damn topic about you but you always talk about her . saying that you loved her and stuffs . i don't wanna see you get hurt , but .. i guess you're just as defiant as i thought . you were so in love with me back then . i know i did hurt you because i rejected you . i know you wont ever listen to me . i know we're slowly drifting apart . i have my reason why i had to reject you and you don't know how remorse i felt when i got to know you were upset when i told you my decision . i never wanted us to be an item because it's too fast , you were rushing but i was in love with someone else . i wont be revealing who 'you' are here . if you think it's you , then so be it . i just want you to know , i cant stand looking at you like this . i'm always here eventhough .. nevermind . it'll look obvious if i say it . bye .

i'm not jealous , no .

2009-11-22T10:19:00.000+08:00

i swear i'll never get sick of watching this over and over again !

2009-11-22T07:34:00.011+08:00

i was infatuated by you . i know it can't be surreal . so i thought i loved you , i really do . so i gave a genuine thought about the things i ever wished for . it has finally come to an end and i broke down because it never came true . i felt remorse . why didnt i think of it in the first place ? maybe i was blinded by love . your callous words , stabbed my heart like a thousand dagger . you were a cad , not a true gentleman . maybe you were juvenile , not ready yet ? i dont know . i asked you in such a nice manner , you answered me in a provocative way . how can i not give such derogatory remarks about you ? i was under surveillance about my actions , really i am. i gave you a thousand apologies yet you're still unscrupulous and making a big deal out of it . i gauge you because i thought you were the one . i never looked down on you eversince the day we got to know each other until i introduced a friend of mine . whenever i ask you out , you jolly well procrastinate it and kept dragging it further wherelse when i told you that friend of mine was gonna tag along though i did told you i was feeling kinda turned off about it, you'll glee and agree on my request . so i assume , you were zealous of her . i couldnt believe i ran to the beach all alone and broke down pretty badly . i was incapacitated then , i just couldnt help myself . i was powerless , out of strength . i got over it as soon as i can albeit i know i'll get myself into a deep matter later on. whenever we contacted , we're contentious . i was the one who would provoke a conflict between us . i realised that i was defiant . i didnt do what my heart told me to , which is to move on before my heart bleed once more but you were so finesse about us arguing and you're such a witty . i felt turbulent but tumultous whenever i'm around you . i broke down again when i got to know you had an overture celebration on that friend's birthday so as to just be alone with her . why are you so naive ? dont you know i love you so much ? i squandered my love for you for the past 2 years i've waited . it's no use now . you even crossed your heart , you promised me you'll stay and be with me but you shirked it all away . now i know , you were really discreet when capturing a girl's heart . words are just words right ? i hope one day you'll admit that you're a perpetrator because you lied , the biggest liar . well , now we're passive friends . i'm not even sure if we're even friends . 'a stranger' that would be nice , dont you think ?

sooo not a true story . i made it all up just to use the new wonderful words that i discovered while reading a magazine (they're in bold) . i pretty much dont know how to use them but i did went 'online dictionary' and got what i needed . so , i'm sorry if i misused them or what you shitty people say it . LOL !

2009-11-21T22:06:00.001+08:00

i think i have killer eyes . LOL !

2009-11-21T21:52:00.003+08:00

baby , i told you i was the angel among the demons (:
the one who shine the most *laughs .

2009-11-21T21:23:00.003+08:00

HAPPY 2nd BIRTHDAY , TWINS !

my dearest adorable twin baby cousins .

1st twin , Nor Nadhirah Binte Ramlee .

2nd twin , Nor Nadzirah Binte Ramlee .

grow up and make your daddy and mummy proud !

do grow healthy and strong okay .

your kakak sedara will always be here .

plus , i cant wait for you guys to be teenagers !

cause you're the first twin in OUR family .

'jakun' ! so fond of you two .

haha , probably still a long way to go (:

tata .

2009-11-20T14:46:00.006+08:00

what's happening now ?

what's happening to me ?

what's happening to you ?

what's happening to us ?

NOTHING !

hahaha , i'm just bored ..

2009-11-20T06:07:00.007+08:00

Nikon D80

it would be such a wonder to have this .
i hope mum/dad will get this for my siblings .

which will be 4 months later .

okay , i'm the one asking for it ,

but i'll talk to the others regarding this .

*evil laugh* brothers, please agree with me !

mum wanted to buy the digital one with video cam .

but i told her no , dont .

oh my god , please get me this one .

you dont know how this 'baby' works .

it's so awesome to see the photographies others took ,

especially using this 'baby' . it work wonders !

baby told me it's not easy and no , i cant use it for normal use .

if i wanna use it for normal use , i shouldnt be getting this one .

but i'm willing to learn how to use it to take awesome photographies out of it.

i swear , im'ma pester baby to teach me . (if he knows)

since he is a 'PHOTOGRAPHER' ! *evil laughs .

well , that is if i get a hold on to this one .

i'm sure it's gonna be heavy , -.-'

anyone knows how much it cost ? TELL ME !

i'm too lazy to check on the net .

anyway, i'm getting braces around March 2010.

only god knows how long i've been waiting for it .

it's taking forever , really !

guess how long i've to wait ?

9 friggin months !

mum promised me around June this year .

up till now , i'm still waiting for it .

no , i dont wish to get the metal ones .

i wanna get instant braces if possible, because ..

i dont look good in metal *laughs .

and heikel , shut your crap up .

my budget is below 5 thousands .

so instant braces , dont disappoint me.

TIME , PLEASE FLY PASS QUICK !

thank you .

off to watch UP now. movie marathon time !

2009-11-20T05:17:00.003+08:00

can i be your angel ?

the one who would always be there for you .

even when you fall , i'll pick you up from the ground

and if you're losing faith , i'll give you my strength ..

i just want you to know ,

i wont ever let this go ..

2009-11-19T19:13:00.005+08:00

Hey Girl ,

What's with the 'get to know me better , i'm friendly/nice .' ?

Guess they're just words huh ?

Hey Girl ,

You got me trippin' and now you're treating me like shit .

I should have listened to him .

Now i know what he meant by all that .

Hey Girl ,

I'm no one you can play around with .

At the end of the day , you'll lose .

Hey Girl .

Guess what ?

You aint me , and better watch what you say .

Hey Girl ,

Yes you , please know that everyone has got feelings too .

Hey Girl ,

Screw you , you dont worth my time no more .

Hey Girl ,

If you dislike that idea , go get a life .

It's us against the world , you're not involved .

Hey Girl ,

I dont understand why i should entertain you .

But you bother to start the conversation first each day .

Hey Girl ,

Is there something about me you like ?

Or you're just trying to bug into my secrets ?

Hey Girl ,

Doesnt mean i'm all close to him ,

I should be close to you .

Hey Girl ,

Cause i deserve a better friend ,

Therefore you dont deserve me .

Hey Girl ,

Please go away .

I love him ,

I dont love you .

I'm done with this shit . Bye .

2009-11-18T19:37:00.003+08:00

then i found my kindergarden class photo . spot me ! i'm surrounded by boys. thanks Shukri bin Shukor (below left hand corner - you're still short !), for the photo on Facebook . i miss (ex) bestfriend , Muhammad Danish Bin Zainuddin (top right hand corner) and dearest cousin , Shahrul Izwan Bin Farizal (left , beside me) . they're my primary school mates too . argh , i miss everything ..

2009-11-18T17:12:00.004+08:00

Dear Elmelda arfaitx,

please dont get the wrong idea . it wasnt my intention to not pick up your calls . it's just you who would always call me at the wrong time . probably , i'm still asleep and when i woke up , i saw miss calls on my handphone screen and then i couldnt call back cause why ? private number but then if i were to call your house back , i'm not too sure whether it's you who call me . dont you think so ? yes , these days i will only be concious in the afternoon , around 12pm-5pm . oh , i sleep like a pig and aku tidur mati ((:

i'm sorry . oh, i prefer texts than calls . call me anyway ! *laughs . IMY .

2009-11-18T05:46:00.013+08:00

' i love you .'

say it when you really mean it .

show it when it's really true .

appreciate it when it's there .

cause you'll never know ,

everything might come tumbling down .

in just minutes or seconds .

..
i call it true love

when both sense it together .

i call it pity love

when one person is just showing it .

i call it puppy love

when both never show real concern .

7426 {you know who you are}, i've got you . there's nothing to worry about cause i know you'll always be here and nowhere else . as long as we know i've got you and you've got me , nothing else could go wrong right? i know i can count on you to not bring my hopes down. listen to me, i know that you know you're not alone. infact, we both are all in this together . promise i'll appreciate you and will never ever try to hurt you in any way . you can count on me . i will never obliterate us . trust me like how i trust you . dont ever try to fool me cause i will never fool you . dont ever change cause it might ruin everything . <3

and like seriously , jangan step malu . post okay! untuk saya ((:

2009-11-18T03:56:00.004+08:00

partly the reason why i love her .

weewee or what.:
i veh sad {insert name} tido alre . WHY. cuz he go t work . i so sad . i think he knws i like him, i die alre . {insert name} sleep so i also sleep .i so sad . i go emo . goodnight babe. iloveyou more thn i love {insert name} .

and my uncle owe me eleven bucks .